As a newly-out bisexual or lesbian girl, the idea of meeting girls and asking them out can seem a bit intimidating. Although the fear of rejection is real, the possibility of a fulfilling relationship should be much more important. Being turned down is no fun, but being lonely is worse. If you're ready to change your status, here are four steps to meeting a girl and asking her out.
1) Have a positive attitude.
It's normal to be nervous when you approach a girl you find attractive, but do your best to be confident. A positive attitude makes you more attractive, and also makes you feel betterl. If you need encouragement, a supportive female "wingman" can help, but don't act too friendly with her, or the girl you have your eye on may think you're a couple.
The "is she gay or straight?" guessing game adds some extra challenges to lesbian dating. Making your moves in a lesbian bar or LGBT event can reduce your anxiety, but if you're in a more conventional setting, my article Is She a Lesbian? 10 Signs That She Isn't Straight can help when your "gaydar" is on the fritz.
2) Make eye contact and smile.
If you don't have someone, such as a mutual friend to introduce you, this should be your first step. If she holds eye contact for a few seconds, smiles back, or repeatedly glances in your direction, take it as an invitation to approach her.
3) Flirt.with her.
You don't need to have a pick-up line ready when you approach. just introduce yourself and start a casual conversation by asking her what she's doing at the event, where she's from, or what she does for a living. To turn the conversation into a flirtation, try these three steps:
- When she speaks, turn your whole body to face her, smile, and maintain eye contact.
- Drop a few small compliment (her eyes, her accessories, something she told you about that you find cool).
- If she seems to like you, brush your hand against her arm, or lean in to whisper something into her ear.
If flirting with girls is still new to you, check ot my article 10 Lesbian Flirting Tips .
4) Ask her out.
If she's been talking with you for five or ten minutes and seems happy, there's a good chance she's interested. Strike while the iron is hot. Say, "I'd love to call you sometime," "Could I get your number?" or "Do you want to move to that cafe across the street?" If you get her number, call her the next day and arrange your first date.
The problem with waiting and wondering instead of taking action is that there’s a good chance she’s doing the exact same thing.The time you spend wondering about who’s going to make the first move should be spent making the first move. Fortune favors the bold!
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